Saturday, April 29, 2017

I made a mark for you so I dont forget

Saw her today
Walking by with an old comrade
One I cut
from our ragtag club of beatboxing mess

Thousands of miles away
The storm rolls in like an angry property owner
Ready to evict the calm
Violently

My storm walked by earlier
Blanketed in light
Compass set west as west can go
Where waves wash ashore slapping sandy
Sleepy shore

Kept me in doors peeking
After seeing what was something
Not even sneaking
But publicly speaking our story ending
Rain fell indoors
Inside me and my locked bedroom door

Over the years
Watching the scares heal
Ive almost perfected stowing away the unproductive feels
Pulling the coller up to face the cold
On my own
Reveling in an ability to do so
Be so cold

Supression uncorked watching her walk
Something she so vehemently loathes
Purpose or not
In front of my spot
With a temp escape date

Many a nights I have weathered great storms
Gusts carrying away homes, earth and hope
Electricity shot straight from thors hammer
Plates that shook the whole world like a softball
Happy just to witness the beauty of malevolent forces
Dead in the eye
Without fear of any kind
You however
Is what I am avoiding
Taking shelter from
Nothing to special
Just a girl
That scares me more than the wilds fiercest disaster

Such brief introductions rarely require lengthy goodbyes
Most especially concocted by yours most truly
Me

You had me beleave
Convinced my reservations
Persistantly
Till coaxed repeatedly out
Warnings entirely ignored
Naively
I over you
You after I
For what escapes me
The prodding
Calls to join forces
Enlighten something more
Fan a fleeting spark had once

For that second, You had me
You left not long after
The spell wore off
Confidants confirmed my dellusions
Knowing the whole time the score
The final scene
Credit roll and post production roles

As cleaver or close to my kind or type you are
Our affair would never mean what you would want it to be
Heavy
Passonate
Drama fueld love drunk chaos
The kind only the young can afford to contend with
For what its worth, which isnt a hell of a lot
We shared a special kind of crazy
The kind that should not be shared
Due to exponentially amplifying each other
Inevitably leading to catastrophic ends
Romantic curtain falls after captivating performances
Balletts off cliffsides
Opera of mad love striking chords violet red

He knew she made a better muse than lover
Dice rolled again anyway
Still hopefull
Still at the table
Holding
Folding
When needed
Walking away

Waving a smile down the block her way

Your eyes are the same
While age has shaped everything else
Still I see the punk kid in you
In that I see me again too
Much younger
Letting lost forgot memories racing out our mouths
Towards humid breezes
Old friend
weve stayed the same while changing all but name
Its good to set my sight on you once again

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Inferno descerno

Hell
Everyone has their own meaning about it
Seems agreeably a buzz kill
Not like crashing waves of nausea
Whatever belly organs tied up like sailor ropes
To each their own
Valhalla
Casually my thoughts drift toward suggesting this here
now
hell
fuck
its bound to have those dante rings
or layers on layers
hell is like an onion
some poor fools were born in it
of it
never leaving it at all
ring a bell?
Is this right now......
No way to tell I fathom
Who measures these things?
Quantifier of suffering
in numbers
or runes I guess
counting is hell
being in line another circle of it
especially when you need to urinate profoundly
That is assuredly a nasty side pit of the far reaches of earths center
If planet earth was a person and had to die
then went to hell
might be right where it is
I keep asking but
shoot
you know as well as I  do
what  whispers a  response
solving X
measuring while being measurement
Mayhap you don't know at all

Behind this now, or waiting for when
Ends cursed by begins
hell seems so limitless I fear it might be all there really ever is




Church Channel Nightly

Dearest Human,

There is so much of me like you
Yet so much more
Fantastically torn up, worn out, back in
before the score counted losses adorned
We share incalculable similarities
Inside
outside
We are almost the same thing mostly
Most days
countless ways
I to think we are one
Reggae rhythms almost convince me that I am wrong
about us
How were so finely woven
There the sigh escapes me
Hope drains like a California drought wave
Uniquely cursed in likeness
set so far apart
At least for me
you could never be me
vice versa
same becomes irrelevant
different became my friend
separating
exasperating
the great lie we all nod our heads to
put faith in
I never wanted to be different
As much as anyone else past high school
There just is that invisible barrier
Of me
In I
waiting hating
made only to defy
savoring only opposite what is standard
created for reasons I apparently fated myself
for myself
and no one else
I know better
each and every time spent overlooking inevitable odds
stacked defensively in wall shape fashion
tiered swirling as far as sight can see
some with doors
hidden shortcuts left like breadcrumb trails
leading nowhere really
traps stalling fleeting window shoppers
glimpses at what should be
exactly what it is
will be
An experience of collective experiences
Me
So far away on the shore waving
Over the walled gates wrought iron fence chained
Sentry guarded moat bridge
that draws down no more
Some one sabotaged it angrily
Purpose driven
May we always be made up of same strings biological
That ensure our differences abolish all idea we are anything close to similar objects

Run with the wicked

Not too long ago I caught the blues again
real bad
almost took me out
left me hanging from next to nothing

Right before that, I had a severe mental thing
bout shut the door
on anyone or anything in a mile radius

Luck found me around
able to kick both
With time
bits of this or that to keep the blood flowing

Things are not as bad
Like they were then
Not at all

So I think
Maybe I can do anything
survive the curves thrown
shitshows
the far belows

Up cant go down
When your as down as down goes

Just suppose what matters is
how you sweep up them bones
move again
forward like
toward the no one knows



Finito

Wild eye blond kind
when it comes time
it has become time
I won't flinch
or blame
While salt breaks crumble
awake still stumbling across
half baked hopes escaped
for the most part anyway
palms wave saved for sunny seasoned day tripping
still the dead roam beside
inside us
distrusted

I will remember the kisses
Not so amazing
still
that one once first pushed lip plush

Apart of mine will hold tight to apart of you
book read
fancy pants
well together behind letters never sent

It will always be like this
Me
Or else the trajectory blindsides me sideways
captivating
Intrigued on someone infinitely interesting

I will hold my breath



Friday, April 14, 2017

E

You broke through my walls
Damn you
Stubborn lover
I made a place for me alone 
Safe from hurt
Far from known
High, sharp, mean and tall
Left to rubble
Crumbling
Everything meant to keep out all
But you
Tore through
Took my hideaway
Made it your own
Our own
I should be furious
Tried casting you out
Took to fierce opposition
And lost
Willingly
I surrender 
For what you are
What youve done 
To me
So it goes
I am yours 
Most, certain and truly


She summers eye
Braces all of me
Intake by
Roadside monatany
And I could bring you the night
Wanted cast over cloud despite
You make me real
Strong absolute
Peeled
You traverse the mine field
Elena sighs
Shake the steady trees
Whisper more
Coming tragedies
With humor known lost
A smile
That curled lip left vacant wild

You make me real


Ma muse belle

Here in my pocket, I squandered away
Something left
Something hers
Something take
steal away

sqaured harmonic
pink electronic
sound making
playlist playing
box of boom

Ma muse belle speaker in my room
Where she with me
tunes upon tunes
Assuredly our company consumed
skipped, changed, shuffled
by moon
lit swoon swift
off to tracks I am waiting for you to share soon





Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Moonlight
spilt everywhere
Along lines
Across arms
Entwined
Splashed playful
Among fingers
Touching, reaching, feeling
leaving
Dreams for the dreaming
Sleep
Pass
Inside beliving
Wall breach, defense mess, reliving

Lip on lip
Shiver twitch stitch
Unraveling
Staggering
Enamoring
Me