Monday, February 27, 2017

Wish for death 
Daily
Take me please
Begging
Till time is past, life is screaming, get, go 
Remain

Until enough
Times up
By my say
Willed fin
Suicide ballet

Each and every morning
Sunset cokors splayed
Gorgeous
Breath taking
Still empty in my eyes
Worthless 

One day 
soon
When tired 
When pain
When beauty
Becomes enough
To much
Becomes all the same
My life will end by my terms
With my hand
In quiet lovely stains

No one wants me anymore
There was a time, I found myself in high demand
No more
Even my closest few
Have become none
truly
He begged me earlier, my laat true friend
To be, not me
Pretend
Would if I could
Cannot and wont
Be anything but myself

So we laughed against a painful truth
Accepted together
Never will my morals self sacrifice
Quiet calm will not be acted
Played

So it goes
Hating
Vile villan of any would be
Friend to none
Offend in any, forever, wicked unwanted ways

Say what you will
Shit talk
Conspire
Whisper what fear you share
Of me
Of course
There is no other way

Expected
Projected facade reflected
Im bored
Its improve
Only I
Laugh alighted
High brightened
By failed attempts refrained

Last cigarette
At least until they open the store
Liqour
Conviniance
Local
Per capita more booze stores
Than anything else
We live in a wonderous place
No time for sober
No AA
Just sweet relief
In every derilict way
Friends with the workers
Know each other by name
No judgement at the counter
Whatever the hour
Escape sold in pint sized timeouts
Day nights or daylight paid




Push plenty
Pull
Greatly
At all
For nots endless treason

Pry lightly
Beg
unravel
Undo
Give

Across the in
Over outs
Through looped arc
Webbed
Devout

Such are things
Close by apart
Woven unwilling
Till death do we part




Wet again
Serves you right
California
Droughtscape
Southlands
Desert due cashed in chips
Honey dew ripe
Hips

Drips
Pops
Skips
Impact
Top
Drizzle
Spits

We need it
Plants need it
The west needs it

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Enemy Mine

Lying beneath
Sarcasm
Cheap shots
Bad calls
Deep under skin

Causal effect relations
Doomed
Aided yet finite
Time together
Typical

Take whatever stance
make it solid
as you wish
stand upon it rooted
fantastically unseeded

Leave it
For blades come
cut
level
growth over wanted

Like friendship
mine
mine enemy
will become with time
regardless of rooting, time, sun, or feigned fruiting

It is all who is the enemy of mine

Friday, February 24, 2017

Find me there
after death
buried
left
carried away
to be tossed

Read me never
unless discovered
for nothing
about days
nights
spent sporadic
noted in these hymns

Piled poorly
over decaying
left digital
praying

This journal
main memoir
waiting
for translations best attempt at unraveled unrest
my voices words transposed
used
cursed

Breathe its heavy leave
Search its blossomed text
Speak springs seasoned jest


Thursday, February 23, 2017

31

31
Alone
By choice
By circumstance
Not lonely
Content of self

Its come up with peers
They say similar statements
Like, "were old." and, "its not the same anymore."
I can read their lips
Translate tounges
Sympathize
While being comforted in our shared struggle

Even if our paths meander
Stray uniquely
Organic fates
Its age and ours
Complaint adolecence passed
While surrounding us
Youth
Beauty
Dancing about the dying
Desperate
Dammed

We have every right to take up bitter
Attitudes angry
Against wasted arrogance
Naive irrelavance

Holding quietly
To glory filled fleeting memories, seeping silent away
Now
Right then

Until baptized back to surface
To be drowned again and again, again
Fuck you sunrise
Bright bastard light blinder
Enemy of our fine nights
Mass murderer of dreams
I rebuke thee
Satans son
Bad news bearer
Mad mighty star
Dying, burning, destroyer of all
Unwelcome

In time
Mine and I
Will rip you from the skies
Heaven will morn
While death celebrates derived time

You will end
Well find a way
In dear and due time

Let us pry at indulgance
Self control lost
For any reason
Despite cost

Like how my wine glass tastes smoky
Could mean unwanted deposit
Experiance only knows

Where these empty bottles find solace
What do you know of no?
How to say it 
Mean it
Mostly for show 
To others
When deep down
Its known
No is left neglected 

Honest, I turn down little
Yes as much
 for fun
For experiance

Is that not control?
Sin savored
Willed
Defiance upheld

This one claims no answer 
But begs to ask?
What, when, will, if to draw
Decline over unknown


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Lately

Lately
During these turns about the sun
Got me thinking
About my compilings
Stuffings
What makes me the me without going microscopic deep
I hear it repeat
Questioning
Answered
Repeat

This week its
Is there a vital function
About me
That wasnt chosen
In a free will ran world

This puzzle peice
Apart of the subconcious
Genetic
Alternating algorithm
Not fated

Another voice inside screams
I am the you before
Before adopted dreams
The foundation created unconsentualy

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Where I live now
Very near the oceans beach
Is mostly always a party
Not like you think
There are brazilians
College students
An elder or two

No matter which week or end week night
Rest assured
Sleep nearby is far far away
Sacrificed
Willingly
Of course

This dead end
One that leads as far west possible
Is very alive

Thursday, February 16, 2017

In real there is dark
Midnight close
Brought
By no amen
Toward saint or sin
Toss
Could you have would been
Most
Delicate quick sand
Ghost
Haunt the hallways
Mind sinking solitude
Lost on you
Light mirrored stainless steal
Reflect
Shine around surroundings
In that you are scene
Backwards self upon saved shelving
Images shot light spectrum forgot
Said so
Thought not

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Tin roof rusted

Its raining
Subdued drip dropped
You are not here
possibly never were
When thought takes me back
Sure is something that escapes me
Lines bled intentional
in order of
arcing plots
left alone forgot
wet falls
discarded
filling a space enveloped
This was always your favorite
when if became it
wrapping the cleansing shower over I
Beneath atop of you
Cosmic cleansing
baptized soul
Falls like everything
Percussion across
from above
for below

Mark

Great men accomplish great things
I am not a great man
Yet have done a great many things
far be it and wide
larger than life
smaller than unseen
for what? Me? Mostly
Men are men
As are women
While all are it and all for now

Inside some is a yearn
So strong
That wants
Insists
to be known
loud
unavoidable

Quiet call
mad motivator
that compelling notion to blacken the earth in some way
if only to be read a sign
I was here
I was
Lest you forget
Forget me not
Please
Beggar prayer for scorched anything
historical

To not be lost in the sea of lost things



Listen kid
nothing matters
lets rip that band aid off npw
youll thank me later
while you curse being awoke
no free naps
so what?
Whoever made being mad can suck it
eat your emotions
shit robots
meat bag fuck
do what you came for
made whore
eat
fuck
whine
die
with great cause
or a lost one
it is clear both are worth equal not
sacrifice your self to treason against mutiny entirely
cast a sail in effigy
drown
shit selling
thing buying
rat racing sense of self

There are a great many things remain unsaid
The time and place just are not intended exclusively
Like when you catch a certain glint
in anothers eye
one you know
is inside yourself
shiny like marble polished

unmovable
hard

In the event that death has blurred your vision
It stays
1,000 yards away
through lead walls
in and out of others
Not a spark
or shine
but a polish that does not catch light
one seen by only shared harbor's

My eyes have seen sight shared
gazed an empty shadow of luster chiseled by the devil himself
For I see hell in your eyes
Reflecting sorrowed surprise

Dreamweaver

My mind and body are different beings
one thinks
one shits
without command and with
comatose biological
programmed survival
then sleep
to offer up sacrifice to madness made up
while surrender temporarily
is
willingly if else
this world
fiction framed
real as anything
breathes life
onto conscious curls
ripple matter matted sweat

It was said
follow your dreams

I can't
The hands ticked again
Back to that time
Of night
or day
fuck you geography
Here, its that time only the waves can be heard
crashing
wrecking shore after shore
making big earth into pebble

While tired eyes seek
nothing
moon angry sentry
howling silent
applauding defeat
head vampire lestat
turning blind eyes at mischief meandered
fed by dusks coming shadow
born dawns early martyr

Bring and be
deity dream
maiden nightmare riding night  
 

Time

Alot of people talk about time
Smart people
us
you
Seems for the most part, not enough is known
Remains this...observance
Involuntary participation
While each interpretation is unique
new
with loose adherence to maybe a compass of sorts
sometimes not
So I think, there must be a place where time means
nothing
ignored entirely
Is that better?
Would it turn tail
eat itself
eternally?
Or cease to exist

Far as I can make out
That straight line will bend
Around eventually back around
You already know where
It already does
Will
Despite unreasonable misunderstanding
Linear
round
parallel
mirror

They can look back
While dreaming of the future
While imprisoned in the present



A fool would waste this high
Im no fool
Many shenagins ensued
I remain not the fool
Friends exchange drug for drug
Mama raised no fool
Were left, im left, alone to self
Im not a fool

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Dearest Erin,

It was never my intention to rile you up in my ways. Nor was there ever motive to hurt you. Also, my goal was not to court you in a fashion  that would lead to a deeper romance. It simply was what it is. For that, or for not clarifying that up front, I apologize. You are a sweet soul. With much to give. It is not a rejection of your self or how you are on my part not continuing our midnight romps. I have a funny way about me. One which leaves very little room for anyone else. Be it curse or just inner conflict, I allow none to get close enough to me to count.

Know you didn't offend or hurt me. We are friends. Will be so long as you like. Romantically our time has past. There is nothing you could have done differently and should not seek answers where there is none. Hopefully you will look back on the time we spent together and at the very least smile and or bite your lip.

Again, without using the ole cliche "its not you, its me" please accept that your an awesome, sexy school teacher with alot more out there waiting for you then a guy like me.

I am sure I will bump into you from time to time. Try not to tackle me when you do ;)

Just kidding.

Kameron
Hif huf huf
Blow
Roll your own
Go
Fill up enough
Grow
Large in charge
No
Run its fun
Slow goes
Flop flip toe to toe
Even stevens
Owe a coke
Rehearse reversed roles
Wander saunder death or ponder
Which without prose
Curtains close
When I wake up
All my dreams are dead 
Which is good
Because often they are really nightmares
Midnight yelling inducing
Yet
I find myself trying to fall back into them
Despite the horror
Couldnt tell you why
Seems silly now telling you


Sunday, February 5, 2017

Kyra

It always hits me
I would rob a charity
if it was fake
but still had money
illegal
or
titties
get it
got it

dont do that
ears are moving
irish
too
on one side seat
I feel it



Friday, February 3, 2017

Every morning I wake by the sea
Or get woken by it's shouting
Pelican screeching
Pothole smashing
Flight line livings 747's organic alarm
If the abundantly saturating sunlight wasn't enough to stir the dead
Christ forgive if you try to sleep in on Monday
Lawn mower morning
Dumpster acrobatic dances
All the signals
keeping any stubborn dreamer madness
This is why murder is committed
This is why the world will never be peacefully risen along with the sun
Why we suffer the in between dreams and sleepless sleep of each days every thing