Friday, December 15, 2017

When I got old, It was already too late. When I was young, I couldnt tell you much. Still lady luck blessed me. With a curse to crave love. Love I did. Many times. Each time more real. Deeper each connection after last. Better through fsikure. Love isnt lost. Just easier to forget with the tick of marching heartbeat

Cropped circles

Tirelessly tired
4am again
Fed up waiting in line to end up where we stsrted
Hired only to be fired
Head west for now
Look back
 Passanger side flashback
Stacking stacks of collapsing traps
Everything that keeps em together is falling apart
Designate a space to waste
Come together by tearing apart
Revolve in place 
Sip dont taste
Hurry to wait
Love to hate
Disappear but leave a trace
Contradict agreeably
Or not
At least willingly disagree we cant agree that argument maybe
The last fun activity for human beings
From this devils are made
Evil born of good wombs
Nutured naturally
Raised an enemy
Loved by all
Living inside me

Dear diary, go fuck yourself

I havent wrote
Lets try something new

Morning draped
Late again
Shake sleep off
Mistress made of thousands of threads
Instead of surrendering to the safe blanket place
Warm embrace of womb like state
Traded daily in haste for black coffee
Fuel for the freeway races
To return again
at later dates
After much debate
We lie in beds made
Wishing for death
Or something like it
Halfway between breathing
And dream weaving

Turn it off
Then back in
Should work now

Sold out

If i had an audiance
Id lie and say its fine
When the works become a hit
A thousand pretend smiles
Aimlessly accepting praise
Shadowed in denial
Shared and shaking hand over fist
Feigning socialized bliss
With a kiss or two stirred in the mix
Thats the feeling that acompanies taking a shit
Writing vomits of words
Painting eleqont curves
Capturing technocolor  filmed fits

Make create build destroy
For a sold out show
At an empty theartre
For free
america free
Every night
City to city
Coast to coast
From sea
Blindingly blind burning the sky


Talk to me desire
That fire
Burnin red
Riding high
 till were expired
Reliantly defiant giant riots
Quiet pilot
Flying below radar
How we like it
Bass dropping wub trunk rattle
Violent like
Despite how right the mic delivers our nightly chourus
of bad decisions, the best of times
The dopest of hits
One take its lit
Keep rolling
Spark the spliffs
Humm along like chong
The second coming came and went
You werent looking
Im jesus christs half twin
Sleeping with sin so savory it drips off your chin
Wet willy your friend tim
Its in, they voted me best dick with a pen
Better than big
Bigger than mesurnment is
So tall my dick looks infinite


A muse-less

Every creator has need for a their muse
Inspiration is just lame filler for motivation
Even science
The godless
Have a muse in mathmatics
For what better reason to create at all?
If not for the objective desire of another?
There are no rules to it
Its probably already with you
Whether known or not
Or seeking tirelessly for a tattered taste

I fired my last bella muse
That which brought motion to my hands
Jumbled thought into knots
Tied tight
Just right

Which I liked so much
At night
Id write to her

Every maker has a muse
Every muse needs a maker

Emp T

Too much time is ironicly spent trying to be good in a world that craves bad

Dont be a pussy. But dont be a mean son of a bitch. Dont strike your partner. Unless they are into it. Be nice but not a push over. Dont take advantage but stay agressive.

I get that things have sides. And middles. While having zero purpose at all. For not is an all. All for the not.

Be neither. Choose to use the finger. Flagerantly. You cant, wont, ever need or want a correct outcome to a never ending eqaution.

So what? Why waste space ranting about nothing? Will you think about it, dear reader? Will these hollow words inspire any to burn the something in the night?

We will see.

To sharpen

Day like any
More and more
Unlike repeating
Not like the rest

A close friend
Trusted umong the not
Made a comment about my behavior
Not one to flatter
Still truer than I would like

Great deals of ourselves are really the lies we swaddle inside
Given enough time, we overlook the obvious
Neglect the negative

Through others eyes we see the only true you that exists

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Blinding is what all is seen 
From perch, by soul, under wing
Songs are all
Each dancing being 
Thus perch bring magnified peep
Across sidewalk, through bluster
Straight creep
Will they, is that? Someone will soon see
That person is me

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Poker face ace

Two gals are in my bed
Both beyond beauty
With eyes only for mine
Played the cards dealt
Laid down what I could
Found a partner despite
Chips stacked in opposite directions
Lets play
Chips fall where they may
Jenn, your bluff
Flip em

Some no one

She was a lot of things
An addict
Alcoholic in training
A whore
For a moment
She was mine
Love was....
Never more than words
Strung together falsely
Used incorrectly
Played poorly by sad actors
Such is being alone
Filling the hole that tears away at each every soul
Bruised few relate
Pick up whats put down
Expect nothing but the worst outcomes

When you spin
Your love around
The secret
of your dreams
You might find
Your love has gone
And is not quite what it seems

To appear
And disappear
Beneath all your darkest fears

Monday, October 2, 2017

Gravity's enemy

Fell for it again
Believed everything you said
Wanted to tell you that I love you
Wish you knew that I did
Bought what you were selling
Until I saw you
Over and over
Just seemed so sincere
I think you half way mean it

Sleep is restless
Stomach in nautical knots
Feeling crazy over you again
After trying to end this emotional roller coaster

You were in my arms
Everything seemed so right
My lips tried to tell you
To what you were asking
Exclusive to no other

Then I found you were gone
With someone else
Dropped my hopes off the tallest building
While I watched
Unable to stop you

Were even now
The hurt I brought you, has been brought back

Funny thing is
You had me from the start
Always did
That one night was perfect
When we first kissed
We threw each other away
To the point of trusting nothing you say

I knocked on your door
Tried to tell you this
Grab you and kiss you deep
Until I saw you
You saw me
Then turned away

I hope its worth it
The lies
The other guys
The up all nights
Whatever your looking for
Guess I waited to long to tell you it was me

Monday, September 11, 2017

Irresponsible hate anthem

cheers to the person who's job it is to decide
If it's currently occupied
My place has been many. Still never paid to be the referee.
The stance that takes me is ever conflicted
Agreeable to none
Thought often begs me be removed
Hold tounge
Hold true
Let quiet talk for
What lost will in time become

Damned to not
Can't the will
Questions carried cross night sky
Exciting unstoppable interjections

My friend
Lucky I can title them so
Asked questions
Stood proper
Cause worthy to speak on
What for

Love as always found us
Scraping for words on why
Speculating meaning, origin, existence

True many topics exist above others
Debate worthwhile
Abrasive as ever alternative perspective exist
Shook rung me
Patience practiced
Upon defense of the big L

Natures compass guides me not
Long do I wish to agree
With love
Not it's solemn enemy
It's known definition has been shown outright
Enough times

I get it
All of it
Fair fantastic idea
Unknowable force for feeling uncontrollable

I wager for opposite
Don the black
Swear off the right night we all have hope for

It isn't win or loose
Black or white
Wrong of right
There is if you look
Gaze beyond

My precious friend
Know that if a battle should be
The corner you back would looose intentionally

Friday, September 8, 2017


Firm belief in things reliable 
So as to speak 
Has proven elusive on sale 
Only reaped
Carefull and cultivated
Priceless,waited on
More delicately shared through a weave 

In harvest,
Is the solemn exchange 
Equal share to Equal share
As payment, as tradition, as trade

There is no know other way 

Thursday, August 3, 2017


High time the smoke alarm were fixed
Beeps to no end
R.E.M. Sleep damming shit squel
Break that shot before anyone buys the batteries
Real life
Non-fictional issues
Day to day
Night by smothering humid night
The drive was too long to let that high pitched pulse continue
Seems something has it coming
A cold tempered gale of frustrations
War inevitable
You chirp your last chirps now

Wednesday, August 2, 2017


Clock ticks silent now
Cell phones chime only to wake
The night finds few to witness
At the outburst of hevenly bodies crescendoing amongst us
We saw it
You saw
Light up the night
Like nothing before
If you needed a sign
We're asking around for spectacular
That was it
Brilliance I'm a flash
Cosmic come down
To your town
Please rewind, be kind
None will hear that dark tale

This guy fucks

She asked, "why do you think we do that?"
An act, called out, redacted
"For great reason. Biological seasoning, programmed genetic treason, 
pro creations occupational seeds yeah?"
Designed to fuck
I'm and out
With luck
Plus company searching similar sought after stuck
Pricking daffodils ready 
Lips still sticky with sweat
Sweetly slickend 
Wicked amongst our holy brethren 
Mad with feverish
Have needs for breeding 
A past time teeming 
Lots of horny teenagers 

May you have a better reason
Find purpose without need for pleasing 
Purpose driven scheme to impregnate the next free bellies pleaser 

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Something about summer

Something about rain
without a cloud in the sky
something something, about attracting pheromones


molecule bumping
atomic sightless soiree
wrapped with the wardrobe of summer


Something about long nights without pain
pleasured pleasantly, pleased again
something about tides changing, seasons fading

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

The all father

luck would have its way once more
on a side I subscribe to
law breaking, teeth shattering, I
no penance for the gods
which favor this or that
fate dammed or deaf
this avenues black cat
cross to be crossed

blood dripped fine this night
ruby red friend
have it

Words be words
say it
there be folk bound to lay it
ground bound
sacrificing to gods as prayer
here me now
all father
for you

Did we question in the night?
Was your vessel mighty?
Distilling fright?
If only
For I
In the name of you
He with most godly names
called only by battle
followed by valkyrie

Crow you see
We speak
Old dusty dead
not in thee

Lord of lords
Watch me spill red life itself
in your name

Thursday, May 25, 2017


Roo said

Live like a king, die like a god

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Happy Bithday

Your birthday is back again
Another hallmark card holiday
So you sputtered annualy
Means so much more now
Celebrations tainted by deaths bleak palate
No way to forget 
Anniversary of nurtures end
Day devoted to mother
Alive always 
Carried closely
As we all once were 
Her arms
 kind considerate
Become reincarnate through
Spirits memory

You die this month mother dearest
Two days before your birthday
Mothers day
The day you never lived to see again

Chapter 1 - BBQ

 Roo had little choice the day he killed me.
 The hired hands had me. Found us. Surrounded. Roped up like cattle at dusk. Shored me up sober strung over a great pile of abandoned furnishings. Another effigy to Ikea's tossed away Sweedish trash.  To be my stake. In the judgment for crimes committed and lack of other murder devices.  With a dear friend as executioner. This dear friends is where humble folk conjure their prayers. Where warriors grin in the face of delivering ends. Or as I have seen, feeble grovel. For a cost known not. Unless lost. Then again.

So I hung by feet. Head an inch swaying from earth.

"I! godammit, it's me I said for fucks sake. What sign from hell do you fucks need!" Flames flickered higher at my shirt cuffs. Warming an otherwise cold combo of arm meat. In my favor for record.

Roo spoke, "How is any to tell what or who you truly are after what has been seen?!"
"Before or after I fucked your mother?", my words spat against the fire. "Let me down, hear me at sword length or know  that my ghost will arse fuck you eternally with great hate!"

The upside down that I made my right upside up became irrelavant quickly. My leg bonds snapped away in time for my man to sweep me right up. Feet planted again I sought a crouch.

Saturday, April 29, 2017

I made a mark for you so I dont forget

Saw her today
Walking by with an old comrade
One I cut
from our ragtag club of beatboxing mess

Thousands of miles away
The storm rolls in like an angry property owner
Ready to evict the calm

My storm walked by earlier
Blanketed in light
Compass set west as west can go
Where waves wash ashore slapping sandy
Sleepy shore

Kept me in doors peeking
After seeing what was something
Not even sneaking
But publicly speaking our story ending
Rain fell indoors
Inside me and my locked bedroom door

Over the years
Watching the scares heal
Ive almost perfected stowing away the unproductive feels
Pulling the coller up to face the cold
On my own
Reveling in an ability to do so
Be so cold

Supression uncorked watching her walk
Something she so vehemently loathes
Purpose or not
In front of my spot
With a temp escape date

Many a nights I have weathered great storms
Gusts carrying away homes, earth and hope
Electricity shot straight from thors hammer
Plates that shook the whole world like a softball
Happy just to witness the beauty of malevolent forces
Dead in the eye
Without fear of any kind
You however
Is what I am avoiding
Taking shelter from
Nothing to special
Just a girl
That scares me more than the wilds fiercest disaster

Such brief introductions rarely require lengthy goodbyes
Most especially concocted by yours most truly

You had me beleave
Convinced my reservations
Till coaxed repeatedly out
Warnings entirely ignored
I over you
You after I
For what escapes me
The prodding
Calls to join forces
Enlighten something more
Fan a fleeting spark had once

For that second, You had me
You left not long after
The spell wore off
Confidants confirmed my dellusions
Knowing the whole time the score
The final scene
Credit roll and post production roles

As cleaver or close to my kind or type you are
Our affair would never mean what you would want it to be
Drama fueld love drunk chaos
The kind only the young can afford to contend with
For what its worth, which isnt a hell of a lot
We shared a special kind of crazy
The kind that should not be shared
Due to exponentially amplifying each other
Inevitably leading to catastrophic ends
Romantic curtain falls after captivating performances
Balletts off cliffsides
Opera of mad love striking chords violet red

He knew she made a better muse than lover
Dice rolled again anyway
Still hopefull
Still at the table
When needed
Walking away

Waving a smile down the block her way

Your eyes are the same
While age has shaped everything else
Still I see the punk kid in you
In that I see me again too
Much younger
Letting lost forgot memories racing out our mouths
Towards humid breezes
Old friend
weve stayed the same while changing all but name
Its good to set my sight on you once again

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Inferno descerno

Everyone has their own meaning about it
Seems agreeably a buzz kill
Not like crashing waves of nausea
Whatever belly organs tied up like sailor ropes
To each their own
Casually my thoughts drift toward suggesting this here
its bound to have those dante rings
or layers on layers
hell is like an onion
some poor fools were born in it
of it
never leaving it at all
ring a bell?
Is this right now......
No way to tell I fathom
Who measures these things?
Quantifier of suffering
in numbers
or runes I guess
counting is hell
being in line another circle of it
especially when you need to urinate profoundly
That is assuredly a nasty side pit of the far reaches of earths center
If planet earth was a person and had to die
then went to hell
might be right where it is
I keep asking but
you know as well as I  do
what  whispers a  response
solving X
measuring while being measurement
Mayhap you don't know at all

Behind this now, or waiting for when
Ends cursed by begins
hell seems so limitless I fear it might be all there really ever is

Church Channel Nightly

Dearest Human,

There is so much of me like you
Yet so much more
Fantastically torn up, worn out, back in
before the score counted losses adorned
We share incalculable similarities
We are almost the same thing mostly
Most days
countless ways
I to think we are one
Reggae rhythms almost convince me that I am wrong
about us
How were so finely woven
There the sigh escapes me
Hope drains like a California drought wave
Uniquely cursed in likeness
set so far apart
At least for me
you could never be me
vice versa
same becomes irrelevant
different became my friend
the great lie we all nod our heads to
put faith in
I never wanted to be different
As much as anyone else past high school
There just is that invisible barrier
Of me
In I
waiting hating
made only to defy
savoring only opposite what is standard
created for reasons I apparently fated myself
for myself
and no one else
I know better
each and every time spent overlooking inevitable odds
stacked defensively in wall shape fashion
tiered swirling as far as sight can see
some with doors
hidden shortcuts left like breadcrumb trails
leading nowhere really
traps stalling fleeting window shoppers
glimpses at what should be
exactly what it is
will be
An experience of collective experiences
So far away on the shore waving
Over the walled gates wrought iron fence chained
Sentry guarded moat bridge
that draws down no more
Some one sabotaged it angrily
Purpose driven
May we always be made up of same strings biological
That ensure our differences abolish all idea we are anything close to similar objects

Run with the wicked

Not too long ago I caught the blues again
real bad
almost took me out
left me hanging from next to nothing

Right before that, I had a severe mental thing
bout shut the door
on anyone or anything in a mile radius

Luck found me around
able to kick both
With time
bits of this or that to keep the blood flowing

Things are not as bad
Like they were then
Not at all

So I think
Maybe I can do anything
survive the curves thrown
the far belows

Up cant go down
When your as down as down goes

Just suppose what matters is
how you sweep up them bones
move again
forward like
toward the no one knows


Wild eye blond kind
when it comes time
it has become time
I won't flinch
or blame
While salt breaks crumble
awake still stumbling across
half baked hopes escaped
for the most part anyway
palms wave saved for sunny seasoned day tripping
still the dead roam beside
inside us

I will remember the kisses
Not so amazing
that one once first pushed lip plush

Apart of mine will hold tight to apart of you
book read
fancy pants
well together behind letters never sent

It will always be like this
Or else the trajectory blindsides me sideways
Intrigued on someone infinitely interesting

I will hold my breath

Friday, April 14, 2017


You broke through my walls
Damn you
Stubborn lover
I made a place for me alone 
Safe from hurt
Far from known
High, sharp, mean and tall
Left to rubble
Everything meant to keep out all
But you
Tore through
Took my hideaway
Made it your own
Our own
I should be furious
Tried casting you out
Took to fierce opposition
And lost
I surrender 
For what you are
What youve done 
To me
So it goes
I am yours 
Most, certain and truly

She summers eye
Braces all of me
Intake by
Roadside monatany
And I could bring you the night
Wanted cast over cloud despite
You make me real
Strong absolute
You traverse the mine field
Elena sighs
Shake the steady trees
Whisper more
Coming tragedies
With humor known lost
A smile
That curled lip left vacant wild

You make me real

Ma muse belle

Here in my pocket, I squandered away
Something left
Something hers
Something take
steal away

sqaured harmonic
pink electronic
sound making
playlist playing
box of boom

Ma muse belle speaker in my room
Where she with me
tunes upon tunes
Assuredly our company consumed
skipped, changed, shuffled
by moon
lit swoon swift
off to tracks I am waiting for you to share soon

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

spilt everywhere
Along lines
Across arms
Splashed playful
Among fingers
Touching, reaching, feeling
Dreams for the dreaming
Inside beliving
Wall breach, defense mess, reliving

Lip on lip
Shiver twitch stitch

Friday, March 24, 2017

There it is again
A laughing
Joyess audible outbursting echo refracting
Along alley way crissroads exacting
Chuckle grumble outburst impacting
Birds of night
Enjoy outright
Heard a block away reacting
Cheer adherently
Happy scream
Heard better when light has refused its bright

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

About the day I gather much
See more than is pleasant
Envy quite a bit
Couples mostly
And ugly dogs
Shared beachside
In the sun
There are times of qaurell
My corner beats alot
With fights
Lovers plight
Or late night hobos roaming
Some scuffle by
Walking hounds
Talking loud cell found bound
Making all too much known
Traffic come
People go
South mostly
Crossing the intersection
Across from my home
Our home
Organic entertainment
Chasing cars
Burying bones

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Yelling was all I heard
While no one else was in sight
Never stopped me from looking around
Like I lost something
That can not bbe found

Conflicting communication
Inside comes out
Turn around to face it
Find my head upon the ground

Repeating defeat
Over think thinking 
Beat knuckles retreat bleeding
Sinking the boat made for sinking

These dreams
Those voices
That fire
Leave little guesswork

Schizphrenic liar 
Think a moment
Suspend belief
Imagine a world where nothing truly has meaning
Other tgan what you give it
Now look at the admirable
The noble of heart
The selfless do goods
Isnt their beautiful purpose made up?
A grand lie they have weaved their story into?
Isnt that kind of bullshit, yet neccisary?

Perhaps dwelling on it is as useful as its futile
Brutal truth of there being no such idea
Except the ones we tell ourselves

Faith in static

One must be this
While being that
Black and bathed in light
Round curves made of straight line
This is the way
Where paths meet, draw, divide
Creating more way
Meandering away
Right of way

The way is change
The way serves change
As all does
As nothing is designed to
The revolving electron sings with it
While the wind whistels its name
Tides churn to the notion
Of never not moving
Moons ride the highway of its goverend will
Slaves within its prime directive

Still an enemy of certain
Against happy moments
An end to every dance
To begin
New, uncharted, variables

The eqaution to all mysteries simply is itself
The effect of a cause
Created not to be solved
Not to be the question
To be both

Friday, March 10, 2017

My words are hers
Painted poorly
Lacking chorus
My muse rides
Crying violent
Still shakeing channels static erased
Beneath it all
Sweet and not at all like youd think it
Or be it haunting echo
Not my bussiness to say
By pearched ear it wanders
Saunters by my dreams
Keeps curtains drawn
In love
Thoughts of past forgot
Her smile
Its wings
Made up fears making up faith
Destiny chose
Solid certain
A mundane
Knock unanswered 

Its this voice
Conduit under
Compells crafty slumber
Finger punch poet drunk
Take back nothing
Expect even less
State more the same
Live inside what mess
Has made of men or me
To know a patb
Be the key
Pleasent dreams
Present beings
Make your bed a grave and tread
Dangerously towards
Ledges edge over off if and when
Throw yourself at ends never stopping begin
Cold comfort
I draw for thee
Failed flightless
Be only unseen
Parachute roots
Heaven sent blues
Sing through these leafless trees
I and I alone
Break bending
Reach higher
Tired late
Waiting for nothing more
This little light
This way that
Bycicle headlight
A fettered shuffle
Gives positiin away
Creep crawl past my intersection
My domain
As he scans
Whatevers about
On my property
You look way to fucking hard
For my comfort
Well past glancing
Im glad to be there when you look up
Then away
You and I both know fucker
No canvas here
Keep your robbing elsewhere
Im the gaurdian here
Waiting for merry mischief

Look away my dear
Keep clear of here
Ya hear?

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Left without
There is a fish
Mine as I am his
Companions of a sort
For no good reason, no rhyme binds us
Pure circumstance
We talk
We dance
We ritual for food
A poets best
Comforted by moon
Darth midnight
In deed we swoon

Monday, February 27, 2017

Wish for death 
Take me please
Till time is past, life is screaming, get, go 

Until enough
Times up
By my say
Willed fin
Suicide ballet

Each and every morning
Sunset cokors splayed
Breath taking
Still empty in my eyes

One day 
When tired 
When pain
When beauty
Becomes enough
To much
Becomes all the same
My life will end by my terms
With my hand
In quiet lovely stains

No one wants me anymore
There was a time, I found myself in high demand
No more
Even my closest few
Have become none
He begged me earlier, my laat true friend
To be, not me
Would if I could
Cannot and wont
Be anything but myself

So we laughed against a painful truth
Accepted together
Never will my morals self sacrifice
Quiet calm will not be acted

So it goes
Vile villan of any would be
Friend to none
Offend in any, forever, wicked unwanted ways

Say what you will
Shit talk
Whisper what fear you share
Of me
Of course
There is no other way

Projected facade reflected
Im bored
Its improve
Only I
Laugh alighted
High brightened
By failed attempts refrained

Last cigarette
At least until they open the store
Per capita more booze stores
Than anything else
We live in a wonderous place
No time for sober
Just sweet relief
In every derilict way
Friends with the workers
Know each other by name
No judgement at the counter
Whatever the hour
Escape sold in pint sized timeouts
Day nights or daylight paid

Push plenty
At all
For nots endless treason

Pry lightly

Across the in
Over outs
Through looped arc

Such are things
Close by apart
Woven unwilling
Till death do we part

Wet again
Serves you right
Desert due cashed in chips
Honey dew ripe


We need it
Plants need it
The west needs it

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Enemy Mine

Lying beneath
Cheap shots
Bad calls
Deep under skin

Causal effect relations
Aided yet finite
Time together

Take whatever stance
make it solid
as you wish
stand upon it rooted
fantastically unseeded

Leave it
For blades come
growth over wanted

Like friendship
mine enemy
will become with time
regardless of rooting, time, sun, or feigned fruiting

It is all who is the enemy of mine

Friday, February 24, 2017

Find me there
after death
carried away
to be tossed

Read me never
unless discovered
for nothing
about days
spent sporadic
noted in these hymns

Piled poorly
over decaying
left digital

This journal
main memoir
for translations best attempt at unraveled unrest
my voices words transposed

Breathe its heavy leave
Search its blossomed text
Speak springs seasoned jest

Thursday, February 23, 2017


By choice
By circumstance
Not lonely
Content of self

Its come up with peers
They say similar statements
Like, "were old." and, "its not the same anymore."
I can read their lips
Translate tounges
While being comforted in our shared struggle

Even if our paths meander
Stray uniquely
Organic fates
Its age and ours
Complaint adolecence passed
While surrounding us
Dancing about the dying

We have every right to take up bitter
Attitudes angry
Against wasted arrogance
Naive irrelavance

Holding quietly
To glory filled fleeting memories, seeping silent away
Right then

Until baptized back to surface
To be drowned again and again, again
Fuck you sunrise
Bright bastard light blinder
Enemy of our fine nights
Mass murderer of dreams
I rebuke thee
Satans son
Bad news bearer
Mad mighty star
Dying, burning, destroyer of all

In time
Mine and I
Will rip you from the skies
Heaven will morn
While death celebrates derived time

You will end
Well find a way
In dear and due time

Let us pry at indulgance
Self control lost
For any reason
Despite cost

Like how my wine glass tastes smoky
Could mean unwanted deposit
Experiance only knows

Where these empty bottles find solace
What do you know of no?
How to say it 
Mean it
Mostly for show 
To others
When deep down
Its known
No is left neglected 

Honest, I turn down little
Yes as much
 for fun
For experiance

Is that not control?
Sin savored
Defiance upheld

This one claims no answer 
But begs to ask?
What, when, will, if to draw
Decline over unknown

Tuesday, February 21, 2017


During these turns about the sun
Got me thinking
About my compilings
What makes me the me without going microscopic deep
I hear it repeat

This week its
Is there a vital function
About me
That wasnt chosen
In a free will ran world

This puzzle peice
Apart of the subconcious
Alternating algorithm
Not fated

Another voice inside screams
I am the you before
Before adopted dreams
The foundation created unconsentualy

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Where I live now
Very near the oceans beach
Is mostly always a party
Not like you think
There are brazilians
College students
An elder or two

No matter which week or end week night
Rest assured
Sleep nearby is far far away
Of course

This dead end
One that leads as far west possible
Is very alive

Thursday, February 16, 2017

In real there is dark
Midnight close
By no amen
Toward saint or sin
Could you have would been
Delicate quick sand
Haunt the hallways
Mind sinking solitude
Lost on you
Light mirrored stainless steal
Shine around surroundings
In that you are scene
Backwards self upon saved shelving
Images shot light spectrum forgot
Said so
Thought not

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Tin roof rusted

Its raining
Subdued drip dropped
You are not here
possibly never were
When thought takes me back
Sure is something that escapes me
Lines bled intentional
in order of
arcing plots
left alone forgot
wet falls
filling a space enveloped
This was always your favorite
when if became it
wrapping the cleansing shower over I
Beneath atop of you
Cosmic cleansing
baptized soul
Falls like everything
Percussion across
from above
for below


Great men accomplish great things
I am not a great man
Yet have done a great many things
far be it and wide
larger than life
smaller than unseen
for what? Me? Mostly
Men are men
As are women
While all are it and all for now

Inside some is a yearn
So strong
That wants
to be known

Quiet call
mad motivator
that compelling notion to blacken the earth in some way
if only to be read a sign
I was here
I was
Lest you forget
Forget me not
Beggar prayer for scorched anything

To not be lost in the sea of lost things

Listen kid
nothing matters
lets rip that band aid off npw
youll thank me later
while you curse being awoke
no free naps
so what?
Whoever made being mad can suck it
eat your emotions
shit robots
meat bag fuck
do what you came for
made whore
with great cause
or a lost one
it is clear both are worth equal not
sacrifice your self to treason against mutiny entirely
cast a sail in effigy
shit selling
thing buying
rat racing sense of self

There are a great many things remain unsaid
The time and place just are not intended exclusively
Like when you catch a certain glint
in anothers eye
one you know
is inside yourself
shiny like marble polished


In the event that death has blurred your vision
It stays
1,000 yards away
through lead walls
in and out of others
Not a spark
or shine
but a polish that does not catch light
one seen by only shared harbor's

My eyes have seen sight shared
gazed an empty shadow of luster chiseled by the devil himself
For I see hell in your eyes
Reflecting sorrowed surprise


My mind and body are different beings
one thinks
one shits
without command and with
comatose biological
programmed survival
then sleep
to offer up sacrifice to madness made up
while surrender temporarily
willingly if else
this world
fiction framed
real as anything
breathes life
onto conscious curls
ripple matter matted sweat

It was said
follow your dreams

I can't
The hands ticked again
Back to that time
Of night
or day
fuck you geography
Here, its that time only the waves can be heard
wrecking shore after shore
making big earth into pebble

While tired eyes seek
moon angry sentry
howling silent
applauding defeat
head vampire lestat
turning blind eyes at mischief meandered
fed by dusks coming shadow
born dawns early martyr

Bring and be
deity dream
maiden nightmare riding night  


Alot of people talk about time
Smart people
Seems for the most part, not enough is known
Remains this...observance
Involuntary participation
While each interpretation is unique
with loose adherence to maybe a compass of sorts
sometimes not
So I think, there must be a place where time means
ignored entirely
Is that better?
Would it turn tail
eat itself
Or cease to exist

Far as I can make out
That straight line will bend
Around eventually back around
You already know where
It already does
Despite unreasonable misunderstanding

They can look back
While dreaming of the future
While imprisoned in the present

A fool would waste this high
Im no fool
Many shenagins ensued
I remain not the fool
Friends exchange drug for drug
Mama raised no fool
Were left, im left, alone to self
Im not a fool

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Dearest Erin,

It was never my intention to rile you up in my ways. Nor was there ever motive to hurt you. Also, my goal was not to court you in a fashion  that would lead to a deeper romance. It simply was what it is. For that, or for not clarifying that up front, I apologize. You are a sweet soul. With much to give. It is not a rejection of your self or how you are on my part not continuing our midnight romps. I have a funny way about me. One which leaves very little room for anyone else. Be it curse or just inner conflict, I allow none to get close enough to me to count.

Know you didn't offend or hurt me. We are friends. Will be so long as you like. Romantically our time has past. There is nothing you could have done differently and should not seek answers where there is none. Hopefully you will look back on the time we spent together and at the very least smile and or bite your lip.

Again, without using the ole cliche "its not you, its me" please accept that your an awesome, sexy school teacher with alot more out there waiting for you then a guy like me.

I am sure I will bump into you from time to time. Try not to tackle me when you do ;)

Just kidding.

Hif huf huf
Roll your own
Fill up enough
Large in charge
Run its fun
Slow goes
Flop flip toe to toe
Even stevens
Owe a coke
Rehearse reversed roles
Wander saunder death or ponder
Which without prose
Curtains close
When I wake up
All my dreams are dead 
Which is good
Because often they are really nightmares
Midnight yelling inducing
I find myself trying to fall back into them
Despite the horror
Couldnt tell you why
Seems silly now telling you

Sunday, February 5, 2017


It always hits me
I would rob a charity
if it was fake
but still had money
get it
got it

dont do that
ears are moving
on one side seat
I feel it

Friday, February 3, 2017

Every morning I wake by the sea
Or get woken by it's shouting
Pelican screeching
Pothole smashing
Flight line livings 747's organic alarm
If the abundantly saturating sunlight wasn't enough to stir the dead
Christ forgive if you try to sleep in on Monday
Lawn mower morning
Dumpster acrobatic dances
All the signals
keeping any stubborn dreamer madness
This is why murder is committed
This is why the world will never be peacefully risen along with the sun
Why we suffer the in between dreams and sleepless sleep of each days every thing

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Take to make
End ascend
Bring about tolls
Bell break spell
Sign signal
Dirt swept round ways
Herb smoke raised
Energy ground around
Worked well
Terrestrial constructs
Be whence before

One more for the whores
For the broken
The bored
Deathly left
Lost loved ignored
Insolence favored
No meaning hatred
Fright dealing amore

Heres to chasing edge
Finding catchworthy
Rye wheeling hedge betting

Please bring
Someone elses dreams 
Escape at least

For I
Have seen
Mostly all it seems
Far from anything

Lieing under 
Rock brought thunder
Careless waves
Each, everyday

Politely screaming
Burst from weving
tired strains
Patched patheticlly

All in hoping 
Youd mispoken
Bitter fate
This worldly hunger
Driven plunder
Rose like ways

Leaving gone now
Color brought down
Up they say 
Break away today
Tommorows not saved

Wine again
White and not too bad
Hell what do I know
After two pinots
After everything
After laying in bed swearing sobriety
To myself
Lasted about as long as anything does
Far as I can see
If youd call this sight
Nesteled deep theres something
Couldnt tell you what exactly
Bet youll find out
So it went
Theyll say
Or they wont
Say anything
Wpuldnt that be something

Monday, January 30, 2017

Grandpa hem away

Nothing substantial happens to a man after war
Great expeditions loose any once was luster
To fight your fellow man
For all but your life
Well, that takes the taste out of the sweetest nectar
Only a woman and her touch comes close
Or momentarily mutes the screaming scars

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Beleive not in sleep
But in the dream
Give not but all
For what to be
Is made fated
Fake fading
Constructs craving
Laymen laying brickx
Statement rift toting
Shoot sky word
Peek heavens alterd course
New horizons blinding
Death defying
Settle never fetter no
Riding centrifical force


Of course

Love is only known if lost
It wouldnt be know if else
One rarely sees forest for trees
Instead a fire lights

What with embers burned
Branches tossed
Only then
Loves cost is thought
With its loss
About alone
Its gift is isolation
To be left
Chose or else
As it were
Shall be
Roaming ramble
Shamble standards
Close to no thing

Sound subjective?
Abandon collective
Desire absence find
Assurance not in sight

If you are reading this, you are. 
In present measure, with optical senses.
Hopefully much more

With that being said, I hazzard an entry. Gambeling just observations frame of mind. 
Mine specifically. 

In thought I have found myself incapable of stopping the urge to question endless. In that string of more inquiry, found even more puzzeling paths. Of such, do I have a choice if I question or not? 
Better put, is there something uncontrollable inside me that must question. 

 For example, through searching profoundly I found a higher power. Absolute truth. fueled by unwavering faith in an solution that solves all and any questions. Be it god, or nature, or any ideal that solves a humans mysteries. Given a surrender of faith and trust. Even so, with a great high answer to all, I still question. 

What then of great answers? Of gods or worse? Lack of? Even still, do you wonder? Or accept what you will. What feels right. Irregardless. My point is are we designed to think? To question? To argue and not accept? 

My life is both important and insignificant. While it plays out, during painfull struggle, is it uncontrollable to ask of everything along the way? 


Channeled through
energy false suit
seen shown new

tearing I
sought most
reaching embraced
left askew

been folding for whatever
kept calm and holding in
bottling a clear desire to
end for whats assured
Calling on the devil
where he out id find him in
seeking higher forms of creation
metered mass destruction

Kamerons guide to being an asshole

1. Never agree with anyone
2. Not even yourself
3. Do everything despite reprocussions
4. Live like no one is watching
5. Enjoy whatever you can
6. Share nothing
7 Eat
8. Procreate often
9. Care little for time
10. Depend on nothing, not even yourself

Each time

Naked rambling
vagrant standing


Here commanding
Second handing
lack most eloquent

spiting venom
not in-devoured


For boding
towards something
in spite of experience

lost or buried
most miscarried


despite woe
purpose wrote
destiny is shit

Friday, January 6, 2017

Conflict to scripture

If you fight
We will fight
Disagreenments be damned
or brought to two answer question lines
these pots they boil down
lost hopes
fienged expectations
morals in general
define something
debate ensues

For delusion has striken our house
contradicts every all
sighs passively
It beknown outside
windows in right cloudy

would or could
should and maybe
countless things
wasteful forughts worthless thougts
came to me
biased and sideless

Show me truth say its name so I may hear
help me
take in
most desired
to be

lonely is her maiden
and hated
gone with cursed fates
any who know
say so
thrown again again
until left alone
again again

Take careful heed
say little
interupt none
you listen
adding breath wasted or kept
means not
will not
make any