Monday, January 27, 2014

In death and dreams

I am so tired. Crick in the neck, pains in the back and not enough sleep. And at the same time, not enough time and no time for sleep. So many things are looming in my way. I am pulled so greatly to do more, to be more. Meanwhile, my happiness and contentment are agreeably just that. Almost 30 and not famous, not as successful as I would like to be and even less accomplished. I figured if I wrote it down, maybe my mind would rest.

When I think about my predicament, my human condition, there is solace in knowing I am not a cabbie in Brooklyn. Knowing I am white and American by birth. No offense if you are not. These are my inherent attributes. And should in no way define me. Yet they do. Many people immigrated to America for a myriad of reasons. Some of them just to quench an empty stomach. And here I sit wanting more. More money, more accolades and more accomplishment. How foolish and selfish man is. But at the same time, this drive is not only mine and exists in those who thirst. Not all things are bad or evil in nature.

It's hard not to think about the end when it is so certain. When I do waste my living thoughts on my death, I thank god I found love. Love is all you need. Love will survive death. It maybe the only lineage I care to leave behind.

For she is my Dulcinea

Dearest Dulcinea,

I think about you intently. With many long hours spent contemplating  your beauty and artful ways. You have stricken me and left me intoxicated with your airs. My mind reels at the thought of you passing by, moving across my fields of vision, that so long for your sight. Many years of mine have been spent in search of the wild ways you move me. And I have found you and fallen oh so in love. There is no chance that I can live without you. Although you maybe a princess and I a peasant, there is a chance that the rules may bend to our will and break upon the rock of love that is our foundation, One built upon a sturdy and entangled structure of lovers limbs and kinetic/karmic energy. For my heart beats that much faster, and the neurons snap so much quicker, when you are in my presence. Much happiness confronts me with these thoughts of you, of your face and the feel of your touch. Shivers shoot down my spine when I ponder the ways in which my own body insubordinately reacts to your presence. An animal you bring out of me. Bent on pleasing and servitude. While all the while my heart manifests arms that reach across our spectrum to pull at you and dram you ever nearer. Undeniable and irrefutably I am lost in your eyes. Those dark pools of hypnotic undertows happily drown my thoughts. You have all of me, at your call. 

This last week has been amazing and exciting, In some ways, I owe you my life. There is no way that after meeting you, I could live a life devoid from your charms. Your voice alone, could heal mortal wounds, un-head the be-headed and restart a heart from it's slumber. In many ways, no words can define or describe the holy awesome and wonderful effects of your life blended with my own. Thank you Sophia, gypsy queen, my muse and Dulcinea, for being the one that calls to my heart and floods my mind with the thought of true love. 


Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Fried Eggs in Coconut Oil

Wednesday hath been defeated by the calculated amount of sunlight moments. 527 today. 180 seconds more than the day before.

My day you ask? Was interesting. That's a dullards way of saying, it was not jejune. It was, another day. But not unlike or like the others.

Sunrise was accentuated by an incredible companion. Snuggled in each other behind a throw, watching the 6am color rise into the sky like a slow dye dropped into water.

Most days, there isn't time for that type of admiration of the natural progression of  sun assent, over the horizons of night. Like a fine meal, this morning fed me a bowl of heart breaking beauty. The other half of that equation was her.

Thank you for a lovely morning.

That followed a delightful evening. Our little talks, so largely weighted on my thoughts. Curling up like lions under the pelt. Caressing each other with our bodies in the moonlights glow. Events now a distant dream of yesterday. The feeling rides with me to work from your embrace.

My daily grind envelopes me and tasks, overflow my bucket. Slowly and methodically I bailed it out. All the while wandering away from my thoughts as my fingers tapped away. Electronic impulses flying across the world to far reaching destinations. Meanwhile, my mind reaches out on its own accord, faintly listening to the neurotransmitters responsible for focusing. Drift among the days and arousing memories of our own youth spent loving. A battle ensues briefly, between the conscious thought patterns, as to which task is more important. A pause.


My eyes close and I surrender to what my subconscious has brought me. Another chapter in our life, re-lived, as the memory splashes across my closed eyes and pricks the hairs on my body. These waking dreams wash over me frequently and sometimes are subdued if only slightly. For when the closing time is near, no disagreement will prohibit the inevitable.

We are lives lost in the immeasurable moments of chance and undeniable majesty of creation.

 Living breathing, walking talking existence. Our touch is so much more than felt or seen. A greater spectrum exists on a plane undiscovered. There, a  frequency lives, of perfect bliss and harmony, and awaits those who tune in. Radio for the soul.

When our station is dialed in, broadcasts pulse throughout the very source of true loves core. Swirling lotus flowers, magnified and radiating from the heart chokra song.

Who or what is strong enough to deny the brain these thoughts? When they are so called upon, by some quiet muscle within us?

I recoil as I am quickly pulled into this mindscape of a once reality. Once present blocks of space time that never diminished, but instead, took form in a brain wave or synapse reception.
Unknown minutes stray past as the attention is directed back, away, like tucking away a note for safe keeping. Reflection. Some moments in time are so important, so moving, that they will stay the course and journey with their inhabitants for eternity. Only to resurface at an undetermined time.

Although, some can be summoned with great will.

“Memory is the diary we all carry about with us.”

~ Oscar Wilde

Goodnight beautiful woman. May your dreams be plenty and rest come easy.


Monday, January 20, 2014


To think, she was in my bed last night
Calming my infinite scrambling thoughts
Disarming  my security alarms and shooing off my fright

Bringing comfort where there was none before
This elegant love knows how to rile me
Inspire me, and set me on fire, as I beg for more

To think, I thought it could not be true
Another revolution would be possible
A chance at collision, revision and review

Orbiting precariously around and around
My desired ones name echoed with each apogee
Teaching us to be abound

Each day and each night, I dream of her in prose
Our love, like a poem is heeded so
I can only hope you let me show you how deep my love goes


I know not how to thank you enough, my sweet, my muse
When I am walking over to you
I just want to hold the entirety of your soul
And you give me your boots

I know not how to thank you enough, my sweet, my muse
When I am floating over to you
I just want to pick pleasant days, and deliver them like flowers to your door
And you give me gardens

I know not how to thank you enough, my sweet, my muse
When I am falling for you
I just want a simple life
And you give me crossword puzzles

I know not how to thank you enough, my sweet, my muse
When I am driving over to you
I just wanted a friend
And you gave me the best
From end to end

I know not how to thank you enough, my sweet, my muse
When I am desperately in love with you
I just wanted you to know
And I will do anything to show
How you  are so perfectly imbued


To have me love you once more,
Evermore, a challenge I truly wish to implore

Our delightful past of restoration and affirmation
Keeps this heart beating at your door

From coast to coast I seek your hand
Relentless in this desert land

From such austerity exact
Let's, if we can, some good extract

Will forever be our flight?
I seek to soar your heavens with every turn or bight

Life and loss maybe easily borne
This love is not so easily torn

Not from my lips and not from my eyes
Accept a challenge or two will surely rise

To these I say, hello, adieu
Knowing you are the one I was sworn to pursue

Each charm of yours so infected
With servitude thine eyes elected

This vote is cast with our connection
Mother of my heart strings, through and through

Spangled heavens dot my view
thought they at times, may not appeal so true
this field of view is entirely adequate to
A long over due love letter to you

Friday, January 17, 2014


Good morning gorgeous.
Speaking with you last night was inspiring. Mostly, it's nice to know that you still care. And not just about me as a person, about us as a partnership. I wouldn't trade that for all the cats of Egypt.
There is great cause to not turn like the wind and float away. There are many things we still have yet to accomplish togther. I told myself that our relationship wouldn't wreck me. Clearly I underestimated the true depths of what we have. Inside of me is this invisible link, this incredible pull. I have been magnetized by you. My coercivity is unaffected by others ferromagnetic values. These poles only attract for one. My iron wants your wine. And everything else is outside the field of my microcrystalline preference. Measurement instruments fail upon investigation, as the level rises past the readers capabilities. Each low brings new highs as the story changes and arranges something new, for me and you. Easy is a strange word interpreted loosely. What I know of the word is, nothing worth while is. Each accomplishment is garnished by the fact that it was challenging and took great effort. When it's worth it, people push themselves to overcome great things. Sometimes, even themselves. If your going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, stick with easy. "We" is my challenge. Being a partner is a challenge. And getting over my self, is the obstacle. I will tackle my own worst enemy. I know what needs be done. And I'll do it. For us. For me. For you. I promise you, we can do this. Happy Friday Sophia, my your smile be bright and your skies blue.